My feelings are, as is so often the case, mixed.

The bad news is that I keep getting overwhelmed when I try to edit this story for my fiction class portfolio. I'm spending most of my time in it, which means I'm making little or no progress on the 10-12 page final papers drawing closer for Grammar class and Forms class. I also have no spare writing time to work on the two short stories I had originally hoped to complete for intermediate fiction. =/ Also, the book list for my novel-writing class (coming up this spring) includes 13 novels, most of which I do not like the look of.

The good news is that we don't have to read all of those novels cover to cover. The due dates for both paper and portfolio are later than I had anticipated. I think I won't have serious problems with the novel class teacher, and it looks like he may actually be able to help with some of the areas I've been concerned about (like figuring out which of my many novel ideas would be a good choice for my >>first<< novel and which should only be attempted when I have more experience in novel-writing.)

Also, ANOTHER STORY GOT ACCEPTED FOR PUBLICATION! ^_^ It's coming out in the march edition of the online Zine Newmyths.

The bad news is that I'm not so sure I can get my work accepted on it's on terms and constructively critiqued by the fellow students. At least one of my fellow students will be the guy whom I suspect I most offended in the whole group of former friends that I flipped out at the last day of spring semester. Most of the term we've just chosen not to acknowledge each other's existence, but once we're forced into the same classroom, doing intensive workshops, we'll have to acknowledge each other. x_x Awkwardness. I wonder how that will play out? I don't hold much hope of making writer friends in this class, but I didn't realize I'd run into any ex-friends/enemies.
Worries about the forthcoming awkward have collided with my feelings of lonelyness and isolation to produce a new thought. I really regret lashing out at the group of companions I had last term. I felt guilty beforehand, but it's really hitting me that I'd be better off still being on speaking terms with them. =/
What, after all, have I been laemnting this term? The fact that I don't know any other creative writing majors who do speculative fiction, that I can connect, brainstorm, and get feedback from.
Who is this guy I alienated and offended? Who are at least two of the people in that group who offered me friendship, only to have me unexpectedly turn on them during the last day and announce that I hate their guts and hope I never see them again?
Creative writing majors and minors who produce speculative fiction. =/

I've come to acknowledge that my actions were obnoxious. I should apologize, but back when it was fresh I still hated their guts, and I didn't want to open communications again. I didn't see anything that might be achieved by it.

Well, now I do. =/ Maybe I didn't get along with them that well. Maybe I spent most of the "hanging out" time just pulling away from everyone, alone among peers, feeling steadily more withdrawn and less happy to be alive. So what if there was a lot of "Drama", and meta-drama, and more passive-aggressive malice and backstabbing than one finds in a small Italian government or a large American Diner. It still wouldn't have killed me to not actively piss everyone off, or to quietly drift away the way I end other nonproductive friendships.

I'd certainly be better of now if I hadn't burned those bridges.

Well bugger. I'm not doomed to misery because one of the guys in my class is somebody I royally insulted last year. I'll survive.

Good news: It's snowing outside.

Bad news: usually there's so much gremplork going on that there's not enough headspace to react to the good news (the acceptance letter is still mostly an intellectual pleasure right now).
Also, I feel chilly and want to cry when I hear the Christmas songs playing in the dining hall. I generally eat quickly and leave. It's been that way most of the year. It's awkward, takes a lot of confidence, and is hard to find a seat, and then I worry about creeping people out by being too overbearing, which has happened before this semester.


Good News: I've finished all my work for Women's studies class, so that's one out of four done already.