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Well, my only local friend hasn't returned my calls for over a week. My attempts to meet a girl with similar interests at Borders have failed. Dating sites aren't turning up anything.

I recently found a new forum though. A forum to discuss my latest anime obsession. So what greeted me when I finally logged on to the computer after a long day was a private message informing me that my fanfictions had been locked due to complains, because they were too morbid, disturbing, and not in keeping with the PG tone of the forum.

I wasn't angry. I could understand the point of view. It just wasn't something I was prepared for. It came as a real shock, a slap to the face, and a message that even in an online community built up to discuss the thing I love, my train of thought was too disturbing for others and I wasn't welcome. I wasn't going to find any new friends to socialize with, or people to discuss what ifs and in depth character analysis. I got a 10% ban level.

Maybe it was just on top of everything else, and my streak of emotional tiredness and morbid brooding, but it made me feel really down. I felt rejected, cold, lonely, and just plain despirited.